About This Recovering Alcoholic – Stephanie

I’m 35 years old and a recovering alcoholic, History Major turned IT Project Manager, wife and puppy mom to two awesome golden doodles.  It seems I’ve started my recovery as an alcoholic over and over and over again.  And every time I tell myself “This is it!  This is the time I’m going to stick to it”.  Maybe this time will be the final restart of my recovery and realize that I can transition from ‘alcoholic’ to ‘recovering alcoholic’.

Both of my parents are alcoholics, though neither will admit it to themselves.  I grew up around alcohol and didn’t think much about it until I turned 21.  Even then, I didn’t party or drink much at all.  Something switched in my head at 27.  To this day, I don’t know the root cause that sent me down the path where I needed to drink to deal with life.

There’s no one really to talk to about this, that’s why I started my blog in the first place.  Not so much for everyone else,  but for me to have a place where I could record my thoughts and work through whatever I needed to work through.  Gaining a network of support would be amazing since I don’t have a support network here.  My husband though supportive, is exhausted by my drinking….and rightly so.  I find myself getting angry with him when he says anything, but I know his anger is justified.  As an introvert, I don’t discuss with him how I’m feeling or how damn difficult this is.  I’m sure it’s part fear, guilt, anger, embarrassment and disappointment in myself that keeps me from opening up to him.

So many things to work on, so little time and patience I have with myself.

Wish me luck, apparently I need it.

Steph

1 thought on “About This Recovering Alcoholic – Stephanie

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