Day 16 to 0 – Another Fresh Start

I messed up again.  I made it further than I ever have before, but I failed.  Atleast that’s how I feel about it.  No matter the amount of literature I read, or uplifting stories I find with each saying how I shouldn’t beat myself up and I should look toward the future with open eyes and a warm heart – I can’t.  I can’t keep my heart from sinking and tears from filling my eyes.  Most of all, I can’t even answer the question “Why?”.  I can’t answer the simple question – why was it okay for me to say “No” the first time – but then the first chance I got – I had to go and get the wine….then hide it.  So I’m goign to split these up into two separate posts.  Why I did it and how I felt, then a separate one for how I’m going to learn from it.  Maybe a third to summarize them and maybe make some sense of everything.

This much I know – I can’t give up  – I can’t quit trying – I can’t run away from this – I have to face it.

Stephanie

2 thoughts on “Day 16 to 0 – Another Fresh Start

  1. I know the feeling, I keep doing the same thing over and over again. I keep kicking myself in the butt, but this time I think I will stick with my guns and not drink. Just try harder, you will make it my friend.

    • Thanks Tony! I’m tired of kicking my own ass time and time again. It helps knowing that though I feel like I’m on an island alone, I’m really not! Just keep telling me to try harder. Thanks for the support!

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